Who's the poofiest of them all?
by Blind Truth
Summary: Sirius asks the question, but what is the answer? Ok, a gay relationship is mentioned in here, but everything is implied. Its a bit of a laugh, and no disrespect to anyone intended. But if you read it, I hope you enjoy it.


First I'd like to say that the characters are not mine, but J.K.'s and I'm just using them for my own pleasure. I hope she doesn't mind too much.  
  
Secondly please review. Everyone likes feedback and their ego boosting, and I have to admit that I really do! Even if you don't like it – review anyway. All comments appreciated.  
  
Lastly, this fic is dedicated to Bally, Airin and the rest of my fellow sisters who all give me inspiration and are the best people to know. And enough rambling, and onto the story.  
  
  
  
~Who's the poofiest of them all?~  
  
Sirius Black was in the bathroom of the house he shared with Remus Lupin. Having taken his morning shower, he was shaving in front of the mirror. He examined his face, smiling as he could never see what Remus saw in him. His thoughts wondered back to his childhood and to a muggle fairytale he had heard. Laughing to himself, he put down his razor and looked squarely at the mirror.  
  
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the poofiest of them all?" he said, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.  
  
"Mmmmm" said the Mirror in her wheezy voice. "That's one I haven't thought of before. I don't know. Sorry. I can't help you there."  
  
"Don't worry about it" said Sirius jauntily. Drying his face with his pink fluffy towel he made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Remus was sitting at the table spreading raspberry jam on his toast. He couldn't have strawberry jam as he was allergic to strawberries, and eating one might cause him to drop down dead.  
  
"Feeling better?" He asked Sirius, smiling at his poofy lover.  
  
"Much." Replied Sirius, bending down to give Remus a kiss on the cheek. He got himself some fresh toast and sat down, grinning stupidly to himself.  
  
"What's got you in such a good mood?" asked Remus, wondering why his lover had such a big grin on his face.  
  
"Oh, its just something silly. I decided to ask the Mirror in the bathroom who the poofiest person was, and she couldn't tell me!" he said, laughing slightly as he said it. Remus laughed as well.  
  
"Why don't you ask the Daily Prophet to run a competition to find out?" he joked.  
  
"That's not a bad idea. I might just do that."  
  
So later that morning, an owl flew to the Daily Prophet's headquarters. A couple of days later a competition was advertised, asking people to name the poofiest person they could think of, and send in a photo; winners to be announced in a week. The Prophet was flooded with owls, all bearing opinions as to who the poofiest person might be. The staff all had a good laugh at the nominations, and even more so at the photos that accompanied the suggestions. The editor had the final say, and duly, the winners were announced.  
  
"…and the winner will receive 50 galleons, with the runners up each getting 25. The competition was the idea of Mr Sirius Black. " Read Remus Lupin in amusement as he opened the paper that morning over the breakfast table.  
  
"The runners up are:- Mr D. Avery. (Oh, look at that photo!), Mr Sirius Black. (Oh, that's a funny photo of you!) and Mr B Longhewt. (he definitely looks poofy to me!)" laughed Remus. He then turned to the next page and doubled up in laughter over the photo. Sirius, came over to look, and soon he was laughing hysterically. The photo showed an old school friend wearing a black tutu. The photo had obviously been altered as the legs were to skinny, and breasts had been added. The most amusing thing was that it was none other that Severus Snape.  
  
"WHAT???" was the roar that was heard at breakfast in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Snape's eyes flashed dangerously as he read the paper, his thin mouth pressed into even more of a scowl than usual. The subdued titters of laughter were heard amongst the students as the ones who received the paper showed it to their friends. Potter and his gang were giggling more than usual, especially as they knew who had put in that photo. Luckily the Weasley twins weren't at breakfast, otherwise Snape would have guessed immediately who did it. Snape was in a dangerous mood all day. No one dared misbehave in any of his classes, not even Malfoy, the teacher's pet.  
  
"If I found out who put in that photo, they will be expelled before they know it." He snarled, eyes on Potter. Harry found it difficult not to laugh. As soon as the lesson was over, he rushed up to the owlery and wrote a letter to Sirius, telling him of Snape's reaction.  
  
"Well," said Remus, over the evening meal. "At least you got an answer to your question."  
  
"So I did. " After eating, he went upstairs and told the Mirror of the result.  
  
"Well, now I know what to say whenever you might say 'Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the poofiest of them all?'" 


End file.
